Stargate Atlantis the TV series
by kellytalv
Summary: SGA1 Decides to check out the TV series that are made about them. Rated T just in case. As always ;
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Stargate Atlantis. I want to own it but Ronon would probably beat me up. He doesn't like to be owned.

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"so what you have for us?" John fell on the couch carrying a huge popcorn basket. It was Rodneys turn to choose the movie for their movie night.

"Remember the TV show on earth I was telling you about? The one about us?"

"Oh yeah... Something about plausible denialbility in case of a security leak" Teyla looked at Rodney "What about it?"

"Well... Sam sent us some episodes. And I just thought we could watch those" Rodney went over to the DVD player and popped something in.

"Could we first look who are playing us?" Even Ronon seemed interested.

"Oh yeah... sure. Hmm... It looks like Sheppard is played by Joe Flanigan." Rodney had his laptop and was showing everyone the pictures.

"I like his hair. It's nowhere as spiky as mine, but it's close." John drew a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, sure. I'm played by David Hewlett. Oh he better be good."

"Get over yourself already. I want to see who is playing me."

"hmph. Jason Momoa. Happy now? At least they got your hair right."

"Yeah, I guess." Ronon didn't seem to be entirely happy with how the actor looked, even though everyone else thought he was perfect.

"And me?"

"Rachel Luttrell."

"Oooooooh. She's hot!" John grabbed the laptop from Rodney and scrolled down to see more pictures.

"So wrong on soooo many levels..." Rodney rolled his eyes and took the laptop back "Elizabeth is played by Torri Higginson. Carson by Paul MgGillion"

"Wait. Isn't he the one who played on that movie... ?"

"'See grace fly'? Yeah, I guess he is. Yup right here. He played Dominic. I never liked that movie." Teyla and Ronon stepped behind Rodney to see better

"Huh, look at that. He even has a Scottish accent." Sheppard started eating his popcorn noisily "Are we going to watch it or what?"

"Cool down. I wanna see the cast." John rolled his eyes and dived into his popcorn basket.

"You know most of them played on ''A dog's breakfast''. Actually it was directed by David Hewlett."

"The funny movie about a guy killing his sister's fioncee?" Teyla leaned closer to the small screen

"That's the one. Ratchell, Paul and David played in it." Rodney was having fun while John and Ronon started playing cards.

"Rodney, maybe we should start watching the episode. Sheppard and Dex are bored." Teyla sat down again and closed the lid on rodneys laptop.

"Right. Here it goes."


	2. Rising

**Disclaimer: I don't own SGA. And I really don't want to be beaten up by Ronon. Or Teyla for that matter.

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"Okay. This is the pilot episode, 'Rising'" Rodney pushed play and sat down

_**A puddle jumper is flying above something that could be either clouds or water. It is hard to tell**_

"They are opening with a puddle jumper. I'm going to like this tv series. By the way, how did they get the puddle jumper? Aren't the blueprints classified?"

"They have partial blueprints. President wanted it to be as real as possible. We can't risk people knowing about this place. Even if someone discovers anything classified, it will already be featured on the movie."

"Clever."

_**Atlantis comes into view and two ancients as well. **_

_**They look meaningfully at each other and the guy leaves.**_

"What was that all about?"

"Shut up, will you?"

_**Antarctica: Present day**_

_**The view goes into the research base and we can see people walking around, Peter working on a drone and so on.**_

"What? They have central heating in the middle of the ice? It was cold, we were all in fat jackets! Gosh people, get the facts right!"

_**Carson and Rodney are arguing about the ancient chair and about working with it. Carson walks off.**_

_**Elizabeth makes a sarcastic comment about Rodney not having the ATA gene.**_

"Wooo! Go Weir!"

"John I swear, If you are not going to shut up i'll..."

"Guys! Can you please both be quiet?"

"Sorry."

_**Daniel walks into the frame and tells Elizabeth and Rodney to follow.**_

_**They go into daniels lab, with screens that are running through gate addresses, but still daniel chooses the blackboard on which he shows them the gate address to Atlantis.**_

"wow. A dramatic scene. Who would've guessed?"

"Rodney..." Ronon almost got up before Teyla stopped him.

"Please guys. Stop it. We are here to watch a movie, not fight.

"Sorry. Again."

_**A helicopter flies over Antarctica and the names start running on the screen. **_

_**John and Jack talk about Antarctica. John tells Jack that he likes it there.**_

"Yeah, I did like it, until that stupid drone almost killed me! I still am scared to fly when I know that Carson is testing something in the chair. And for some reasons my flight schedule always seems to be at that time. Rodney, you don't happen to know anything about that?"

"Me?? Why would I know anything about it?" Rodney grinned at Sheppard

_**Rodney and Carson are walking to the chair again and Carson tells Rodney that he would break it.**_

"Oh no. He didn't break the chair. But he almost broke ME!"

"Get over it." Ronon rolled his eyes and continued to watch, interested as he had not seen any of this. Nor had Teyla.

_**Carson accidentally activates a drone, it shoots off, making stuff explode in the process. **_

_**Sheppard and Jack get informed too late and are forced to try and fly away from the weapon.**_

"I did fly good, didn't I?"

"Shut Up!" Everybody yelled at John for ruining the exiting moment.

_**Jack and Sheppard jump out of the plane as the drone shut off, stopping right before O'Neill.**_

"_**That was different." "for me? Not so much."**_

"Oh yeah, he escapes from an angry drone on daily basis. And by the way, I flew even better in real life."

_**Ford tells everyone that Jack and John are 7 minutes away from the base.**_

_**When they get there O'Neill follows Daniel to his lab and leaves Sheppard alone in the base.**_

_**In the lab they tell Jack about the Pegasus galaxy and that they need a ZPM to get there.**_

"You know that's actually the correct way to say it. ZedPM." Rodney looked at everyone as if waiting for them to nod their heads and agree.

"No It's not."

"Oh, yes it is."

"No. It's NOT."

"Yes, It IS!"

"McKay, Sheppard. Do we need to separate you two?"

"Sorry." And they continued watching.

_**Picture goes back to Sheppard who hears Beckett boast about the encounter with the drone and he confronts him about it. Suddenly Carson is not so tough anymore. Beckett tells him about stargate program.**_

_**Meanwhile Weir and Jackson manage to convince Jack to let them go to the Pegasus Galaxy.**_

_**While Beckett is explaining to John about the ATA gene, Sheppard pokes the Chair and decides to sit in it. It activates.**_

"Wow. Smart. Sit into a powerful chair that almost killed you" Ronon rolled his eyes and looked at Sheppard.

"In my defense I didn't think I'd have the gene. I thought the odds are very slim. But right now, I'm grateful that I did it."

_**Weir tells Jack that she wants John on her team. Sheppard in unsure, but O'Neill convinces him easily while they are flying back.**_

"I did no such thing! I wanted to go as soon as I heard they wanted me!"

"I didn't. I thought I had more career options in area 51. Boy, was I wrong..."

_**Simon is watching a recording by elizabeth explaining the Stargate and where she is going. He tries to call him, but soon realizes that her mobile operator doesn't cover other galaxies.**_

_**Back in the SGC people are gathering in the gateroom with their stuff. McKay connects the ZPM. Weir has a speech about the expedition. Daniel tells O'Neill that he still has time to go. O'Neill still won't let him go. They dial the gate and send the MALP through.**_

"I think it was one of the most exiting days in my life."

"Oh yeah... You look really exited!" Rodney nudged sheppard and continued watching.

_**MALP goes through and soon people follow.**_

_**Sheppard asks Ford if it hurts, he answers yes and jumps through.**_

"They make it look like it is the first time I had heard or seen the thing. They explained it to me pretty nice before. Though I was still worried that I could be rematerialized wrong on the other side. Like having my ear where my nose is supposed to be."

" I told you that it was impossible."

"No. You told me a lot of scientific crap. Didn't understand half of it."

"Well, It's not my fault you failed science."

_**Everybody comes through, the lights go on and security teams go to explore the immediate area. **_

_**They watch as the last person and a bottle of champagne come through.**_

"Why didn't that ever happen? I haven't tasted champagne in like 5 years!"

"Quit whining. I offered you some just last week, on my birthday. Its your fault you didn't take it!"

"It looked like water. I tell you Athosians can't make real good champagne. No offense Teyla."

"None taken, please can we go back to watching?"

_**Teams are exploring and some scientists find the puddle jumpers. They realize that they are under**__**water. They watch the hologram telling them about th history of Atlantis. McKay finds out that the ZPMs are almost depleted and they need a new one before their time runs out. Sheppard suggests that they could go to another planet and look for ZPMs.**_

"See? It's ALWAYS the genius who has to save others."

"Hey! I was the one who came up with the idea of going to other planets to look for place to settle in and maybe find some ZPMs.!"

_**Rodney dials an address and they send a MALP. Colonel Sumners team goes and finds a dark planet with some kids.**_

"Athosia. I don't know how many times we have told the kids to not play in the dark."

_**Kids' father introduces himself and they follow him to the village. One of the kids tells Sheppard about the Wraith. They meet Teyla and she invites them to morning tea. Sumner wants to check out the ancestor city. Teyla shows Sheppard to the caves.**_

_**Back in Atlantis Rodney tells Elizabeth that if they don't find a ZPM soon, they are screwed.**_

_**In the caves Sheppard finds Teylas lost necklace. They look at the cave drawings and Teyla explains John about the Wraith.**_

_**Gate activates and Wraith darts come through.**_

"Gosh, I hate these darts. Such annoying things."

"You're telling me. I still remember too well the time Cadman was stuck in my head. Believe me, you can't hate them more than I do."

"I had to fly the thing once!"

"Big deal, I had to repair it."

"Can we just agree, that we all hate them and move on?"

"Sorry." Ronon and Teyla rolled their eyes and concentrated on the show.

_**There is a fight and some team members get scooped up. Teyla tells John that the Wraith make you see things and they should fire at the ships. Sheppard tells it to Sumner and he relays it to other members of the team. There Is much shooting and explosions and Teyla gets scooped up by the dart. Sheppard orders Ford to remember the symbols. Sheppard sees a moving hand. A lone hand.**_

"Whoa!!! What is this? I know that Wraith are tough, but I don't think they are THAT tough." Sheppard looked at the TV with disgust, as did the others.

"Yeah, a bit over the top, don't you think?"

"A bit?"

_**Back in Atlantis Peter shows Elizabeth how parts of the shield are failing. Weir orders personnel to evacuate, but before they can dial out, Sheppard dials in and takes the remaining villagers with him.**_

"Nice timing."

"How come that there aren't more Athosians with him? This show makes It look like three quarters of our population died." Teyla was looking at the screen with one eyebrow raised.

"Guess they ran out of actors. But don't worry, It's just a movie." Teyla smiled at John and resumed watching.

_**Sheppard asks Jinto if there are some other worlds they could gate to but before he can dial, Atlantis starts rising from the bottom of the sea. Atlantis surfaces and everybody rushes to look out of the window. They start arranging their stuff and Rodney explains that their last ZPM is depleted. **_

"No shields in the middle of a deserted planet? Scaaary."

"Hey, we didn't know that it was deserted. It could've been a Wraith planet for all we knew."

"But it wasn't."

"We know that now."

_**Sheppard tells Rodney that he wants to go and find colonel Sumner and the others but Rodney tells him that even though Ford remembered 6 symbols there could be hundreds of permutations.**_

"Tell me John, would you really know that there are 720 different ways to arrange those six symbols?" McKay turned to look at Sheppard

"Well... You know..."

"No I don't know."

"You know.."

"Tell me. Did you or did you not know that?"

"Fine. I didn't know it! You happy now?"

"Hah. Just as I thought. They got you all wrong. You are way dumber than in that movie."

"How do you know? Maybe I knew that number because I tried all combinations out on a paper?"

"To come to think of it, You probably did. It sounds just like you."

"Can we please continue? I want to see the episode."

_**John and Elizabeth talk about not leaving people behind. Sheppard insists on going to the rescue mission, but Elizabeth refuses to let them go unless they know something about their enemy.**_

_**Meanwhile People who got scooped up by the wraith are in a cell and Sumner is irritated about the fact that one of those people could have tipped them off.**_

"Gosh Sumner. You are locked up together. The least you could do is to be nice to them and try to work together." Sheppard rolled his eyes with frustration, but shut up quickly after seeing Ronon stare at him.

_**The Wraith come and take one of the Athosians for feeding.**_

_**In Atlantis Rodney sends a MALP to the only address they could get a lock on. It turns out to be a space gate and Rodney realizes that the ships they found are for traveling through Stargate**_

"The happiest day of my li... OUCH!!" Sheppard was holding his stomach and Ronon was rubbing his knuckles.

"Would you shut up already?"

"Yea, sure." John was still trying to catch his breath

_**Carson was cutting the Wraith hand they found and told Elizabeth about the amazing regenerating cells and that the owner was very, very old. **_

_**Elizabeth and Rodney go to the jumper bay and Sheppard demonstrates the cloak and finally convinces Elizabeth to mount a rescue operation.**_

_**Team is all ready to go in the ship and John decides to call it the puddle jumper instead of the gateship**_

"I still think that Gateship would have been a better name."

"And I still think you are wrong. Specially because we are still officially calling it the puddle jumper, so there. I win."

_**the jumper goes through the gate and Sheppard starts to get the hang of it. He also finds out that thinking about a Turkey sandwich won't work. Neither does any other flavor. **_

"The funny thing is that I don't even like Turkey sandwiches. I think I have mentioned it in my mission reports about hundred times already."

"Oh yeah? Guess what? We don't care."

"Oh thank you very much! So car.. OUU! Would you please stop hitting me? my hand is all nu.. OUCH! Great. There goes the other hand..." Sheppard threw his hands in the air but then saw Ronon turn his way "Okay, okay I'll take the hint..."

_**Back in the Wraith ship they take colonel Sumner for feeding. The jumper is approaching the planet. Sheppard orders to establish a perimeter and goes looking for Sumner.**_

_**In the hive Sumner is taken to the Queen. Sheppard finds the prisoners and orders the others to make a diversion while he is looking for Sumner and Ford is busting the prisoners out. **_

"Wow. I look COOL out there pleasedon'thitmeRonon."

"Shut up and I may spare you."

"Shutting up."

_**The Queen interrogates Sumner and she tells him that the wraith eat humans.**_

"What's with the lecture about food? Usually the Wraith just feed on a person. It's quicker and they get all the information the need."

"Well, they needed something to fill up the time."

_**The Queen feeds on Sumner and tries to get the information needed. Sheppard finally locates Sumner but when faced with decision he kills Sumner instead of the Queen. Another Wraith sneaks up on John and Stuns him. Sheppard is taken to the Queen. John takes one of the guards weapons and stabs the Queen with it effectively killing her.**_

"I just realized that almost every wraith queen out there has red hair. I wonder why." John was trying to keep the atmosphere light even though Ronon, Rodney and Teyla tensed at the sight of Sheppard killing Sumner. It was one of the stories they knew about, but had never heard.

"Is that how it happened?" Teylas voice was soft, trying not to irritate him or bring back any bad memories.

"Basically yes. They have done a great work rewriting our mission reports. But can we go back to watching? I really don't want to get hit again." Johns eyes were fixated on the screen and others realized that he still wasn't ready to talk about it. They didn't know if he'll ever be ready to talk about it. Only time will show that.

_**The Queen warns that if she dies the others will wake. After she is dead they see hundreds of wraith waking up above their head and decide to hightail it out of there. Everybody runs to the jumper and Sheppard flies to the gate only to find an armada of darts guarding the gate. **_

_**Sheppard manages to ditch the darts with some great flying. Finally back in Atlantis they were having a party. Elizabeth assigns Sheppard to the head position of SGA1.**_

"Well that was interesting. We will watch the next episode tomorrow, right?"

"Yup, tomorrow at the same time. Don't miss it!" With those words every member of SGA1 went to their quarters. Probably for some sleep.

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**And that is exactly what I should do. Wow. Writing this was harder than I thought. But It's done. It finally is done. I really do hope that you guys like it. Review and If I get at least one positive review I will make the next episode, which is Hide and Seek as you all very well know. So Review!**


	3. Hide and Seek

**Disclaimer: haven't you heard it enough already? I do not own Stargate Atlantis *sigh* **

**So this is episode two. "Hide and seek" Review!

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"Finally. You are late." Rodney went over to the DVD player and waited for Sheppard to put the CD in.

"Hey It's not as easy as you made it seem. I had to call Zelenka, so that he would burn it on the CD for me. That broken leg won't excuse you of everything by the way!" John carefully placed the disc in the player and waited for it to start before sitting on the couch.

"Quit whining I have to do stuff like this all the time!"

"You do stuff like this for living. I have hard time turning my computer on sometimes. I'm a soldier not a freaking technician!"

"Boys please! Remember why we are here!" Teyla successfully ended that argument and they all focused on the TV. Not for long though!

_**Rodney is in Carsons office and is looking at the mice in the cage. Carson is ready to give Rodney the gene therapy and is telling him about the side effects and that this gene therapy is illegal on earth. He also tells McKay that it's made of mouse retrovirus, which clearly makes Rodney uncertain about the therapy. **_

"so McKay... Doesn't it feel weird that you have a mouse gene in you?" John had a big grin on his face

"It's not a mouse gene. It was mouse retrovirus that was unactivated. So I DO NOT have a a mouse gene in me!"

"Yeah, but I mean... a MOUSE retrovirus... It must be weird" Sheppard grinned even wider while holding a bag of rodent food in front of McKay. "Take it. I know you want to..."

"John please stop it. Go back to watching the show." even Teyla had trouble holding back her laughter.

_**Peter and Weir are walking through some corridors on Atlantis and are discussing clean water and other problems regarding the city. When they reach the balcony they see Sheppard throwing McKay over the reel. They rush down only to find McKay completely intact and he tells them he has a personal shield.**_

"Did you really shoot him in the leg?" Ronon had seen the shield work but had never had a chance to test it out.

"Yup." Sheppard still had a huge grin plastered on his face.

"I wish I had a chance to do that." Ronon smiled and turned back to the TV

"Hey!" Rodney was pouting on the far side of the couch while the others where laughing.

_**Weir orders McKay to take it off for the meeting, but soon enough he realizes that he can't get it off. – opening titles – Carson and Peter are in the infirmary and are making up nicknames for Rodney. All of the fun is suddenly gone when they find out that he can't eat or drink anything with the shield on.**_

"Most horrible day in my life. Knowing you can't eat or drink anything. Horrible!!!" McKay shuddered at the memory and then stuffed his mouth with popcorn as to make sure he still can eat.

"Hey you were the one who was too afraid to take it off." Rodney only mumbled something in response as his mouth was still full on popcorn.

_**Sheppard and Weir are discussing defence options in the city and Teyla offers for the Athosians to help. Soon she notices that her people are not as trusted as she would hope. **_

_**Elizabeth tells Carson that she thinks that Rodney is too afraid to turn it off. She also ponders if the shield will turn itself automatically off.**_

_**Back in the gateroom everyone is given a self-destruct code in case of emergencies. **_

"Sheppard you do remember yours, right? We have had to change it 5 times in the past year, because you forgot it. We will soon run out of combinations if you continue like this.." John only rolled his eyes but didn't answer. That may have had something to do with the fact that Teyla had brought her training stick to keep the guys quiet...

_**Sheppard is trying to tell the kids a scary story, but is failing miserably.**_

"I just wanted to point out that I did scare them! They just... didn't let it show... Because they were so scared... They were frozen in place... Yeah..."

"Sure john, Sure."

_**Kids are sent to bed. Teyla asks Sheppard about football and he decides to show her a video he had brought along. Meanwhile Jinto sneaks out of his room to meet up with his friend so that they could play. While playing Jinto accidentally activates a transporter and gets sent to a distant part of the city. **_

_**After his father notices that he is missing they arrange rescue teams and start looking for him, unfortunately without results. **_

"That's why I never want kids. I babysat my sister's kid once, never doing it again."

"Come on Rodney. Kids are the next generation, you gotta love 'em."

"Then why don't you have any kids?"

"I was married once. Never doing _that_ again."

_**Teyla tells Elizabeth that one of the Athosians saw a weird shadow. Everybody is concerned that there might be a Wraith in the town.**_

_**Hallin speaks to Jinto and makes a prayer. The power goes out again and Rodney faints.**_

"huh. Looks like they made that part up. I guess the president didn't give them a lesson of Ancient."

"Of course, we wouldn't want a herd of people running around on earth, speaking Ancient. That would not be good."

"Yeah, I guess.."

"How do you make up a language?" Ronon started to get bored as there was no action going on

"We have many artificial languages on earth. I guess someone sits down and just starts to make up some random words and then voila! You have a language that no-one can understand."

"Pointless..."

_**After leaving the infirmary colonel Sheppard encounters the shadow-like creature. He follows it to the naquadah generator.**_

_**Jinto contacts them and they finally find him in a lab. It turns out he hadn't touch anything too important except for a machine that was holding a creature, feeding solely on energy.**_

"A blob."

"A blob?" Rodney raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. It looked like a blob. So I'm calling it a blob."

"Maybe you should name it Bob. Bob the Blob." Ronon smirked at his own joke

"Ha-ha. Very funny. It's a great name. Energy-eating creature is too long. A blob is nice and easy."

"Easy enough for you to spell if that's what you mean."

"Rodney!" This time it was Teyla foreseeing the imminent doom in which the argument could develop into.

"Sorry." Sheppard only 'hmphed' and slided deeper into the couch.

_**Peter makes the creature go in circles by anticipating its moves and shutting off the generator that is the next target, but the creature goes to a hallway that Ford and another Soldier are standing in. All the doors shut and McKay has to teach them to open it quickly. They get the door open, but Ford won't make it through.**_

"I have always wanted to know what it feels like to get hit with lightning." Ronon was toying with a pen, not too interested in what is going on in the movie.

"Like you have just gotten electrocuted? Can we please continue watching it?" Rodney on the other hand was very interested.

_**Carson tells the others that Ford will recover fully. **_

_**Jinto apologizes to Ford, but he convinces him that it's not his fault.**_

_**Rodney is studying the machine in which the energy creature was living in and suddenly peter notices that the creature isn't falling for the trick they used to get him go in circles.**_

_**McKay figures out a way to shut the creature back to the machine, but when Elizabeth says that he should do it because he has a personal shield, the shield just falls off.**_

"Not a word." Rodney was sliding deeper and deeper into the sofa as if trying to become invisible.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it..."

"Colonel!" Teyla had the stick in her hand and was looking quite intimidating.

"Yea, yea. I'll just settle with 'I wasn't going to say anything.'"

_**Jinto is afraid to fall asleep, but Teyla relaxes him with saying that the darkness is afraid of light.**_

"I wish it were that simple."

"We all do."

_**Sheppard is trying to get the creature back in its cage, but the thing understands what he is about to do and takes off, not allowing itself to be captured. **_

_**Teyla gets an idea of sending the creature through the Stargate. They decide to send a malp with a naquadah generator through the gate, but before it can do that the creature drains malps power source and the MALP stops. To make it go through Rodney decides to use his personal shield and push the generator through the gate. He manages to do that, but in the process he depletes his personal shield. **_

"That really was brave of you Rodney." Teyla smiled at him

"Well thank you. I have to earn my stay somehow."

"I think you have proven yourself many times and will prove yourself many times to come."

"Thanks." Rodney blushed and stood up awkwardly. "I'll go to the infirmary then. Beckett wanted me to spend the night there, because of my leg and everything."

"Okay. Catch you in the morning."

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**Wheeeee! It's done. I really liked the ending. Rodney is not just a genius, he is a brave genius and I think that this part proves it very well :) **

**Review and tune in for the next episode '38 minutes'! Oh and review!!!**


	4. 38 Minutes

**Hey guys!!! I know I haven't updated in a while [forever] I'm back with 38 minutes! ;);)**

**I hope ya'll will like it. Review!**

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_**Episode begins with a planet with an asteroid belt and a puddle jumper flies past it. Inside the jumper two pilots are trying to get back to Atlantis as fast as possible. Ford is encouraging them.**_

_**McKay yells them to go faster and they dial the gate. Sheppard tells them to get "That thing away from him"**_

John shuddered "Now THAT was the worst day of my life. I thought I was gonna die any second."

"Hey you were not the only one in the jumper. Once again I had to fix everything!"

"Yeah? Well at least you didn't have a life-sucking bug around your neck!"

"In the last minutes you were safely in the event horizon, while I was trying to get us through in one piece!"

"Boys! Calm down! It was a very stressing event for all of us, I think we can agree on that." Teyla. As calming as ever.

_**The puddle jumper is about to go through the gate, but one of the engine pods won't retract And they get stuck in the event horizon.**_

"I don't get it. Why can't a puddle jumper be a little thinner, so that it would fit through the gate more easily?"

"I guess they had to put all this fancy equipment somewhere. Though it's a great idea. Let me just fetch my laptop so that I could see if it would work..." Rodney started to get up, but Teyla stopped him.

"We are here to see a movie, remember?"

"Right. Sorry."

_**-opening titles- **_

_**Weir is waiting for the puddle jumper in the gateroom, but it is nowhere to be seen. In the back of the jumper Rodney discovers that they are stuck in the gate. They spot Fords hand and drag him through.**_

"Interesting."

"Interesting? Try scary." Ronon just rolled his eyes.

_**Ford tells Weir that they are lodged in the Stargate, he also gives her a quick preview of what had happened earlier**_

_**-flashback-**_

_**Puddle jumper flies through the Stargate and onto the planet where the hive (From the pilot episode Rising.) was on. They discover that it has flown away.**_

"Yeah, a flying mountain. Sure."

"Hey, in our defense we had no idea what hives were."

"They hadn't been used for hundreds of years. Until you came along."

"And then we defeated them thank-you-very-much."

"After five years and countless of lives."

"Are you saying you are not grateful?" Teyla raised an eyebrow at what she believed was Ronon, but it was hard to tell in the dark room

"No, no. I'm grateful alright. The galaxy is saved. All hail us." And once again no one knew if Ronon was joking or not, so they let the matter drop.

_**Rodney spots some wraith and they try to retreat back to the jumper.**_

_**-end of flashback-**_

_**Rodney tells Weir that Stargate can only be active for 38 minutes.**_

"Why 38? Why not 40?"

"Because the Ancients didn't like round numbers? How should I know? Do I look like a Stargate encyclopedia?"

"No just like a dork." Ronon and Sheppard laughed, Teyla furrowed a brow, that no-one could see and Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Can you please shut up and watch? Just like high school all over again."

_**John wakes up and to his dismay finds that they are stuck.**_

_**-flashback-**_

_**the team is trying to fly away, but the wraith are shooting them. Puddle jumper takes some fire and apparently they manage to shoot one of the engine pods so that later it won't retract.**_

_**-end of flashback-**_

"Stupid Wraith. They always mess everything up and then I have to fix it."

"Oh yeah. And we hired Zelenka because he was just a pretty face."

"I didn't know that you swing that way and you have to say that I still have to fix most of the stuff."

"Uh-uhh. Sure."

_**In Atlantis all scientists are working together and Zelenka and his team are experimenting on the puddle jumper.**_

"See? They have a whole team working on the matter and I'm the one who gets us through in the end."

"If I remember correctly it was Zelenkas idea that got us through." There was only a 'hmph' from Rodney and everything fell silent again.

_**Peter tells Weir that if they don't figure something out the first part that is inside the event horizon will seize to exist and the second part will be severed and exposed to open space. Someone tells them to close the door so that they wouldn't run out of atmosphere instantaneously. Dr. Kavanaugh though is as pessimistic as ever.**_

"He just wanted me out of the way so that he could rule Atlantis. I never liked that guy."

"You don't rule Atlantis Rodney."

"I could as well. Every problem, every step who do they call? M..." Rodney couldn't finish his sentence before Sheppard cut in.

"Me." Effectively ending Rodney's boasting.

_**Rodney closes the door to maintain atmosphere when it comes down to it. Sheppard and McKay yell to each other.**_

"Even in life and death situations you can't leave each other in peace and you just have to start yelling and pickering?"

"Yes." Both men answered instantaneously.

_**Sheppard tells them that he has even less time than they do unless they get that bug off of him. -dramatic music- **_

_**Back in Atlantis Zelenka is experimenting with the puddle jumper. On the jumper Sheppard is demanding that they attempt to remove the bug. Teyla and Ford are reluctant to do so.**_

_**-flashback-**_

_**Sheppard is lying on the ground and Ford is trying to shoot the bug.**_

"Well that was... stupid..."

"I was desperate. How were we to know that this thing would regenerate?" Sheppard shuddered again at the awful memory and touched the little scar on his neck that marked the spot where the bug had been holding on.

_**Ford shoots the bug, but it won't let go**_

_**-end of flashback-**_

_**Teyla tells them that she has heard stories of bugs such as these, but doesn't know how to kill it. Sheppard insists on talking to Beckett.**_

_**-Flashback-**_

_**Everybody is running back to the puddle jumper, wraith following them. Sheppard stays behind to cover them, but realizes that there are too many wraith and starts running as well. Ford and the others are almost back to the jumper, and Sheppard is heading their way when he runs into a big moat with an iratus bug in the middle.**_

_**-end of flashback-**_

"Aren't these thing supposed to live in caves or something?" Ronon was eying the screen sceptically.

"Well apparently the director thought that it would be cooler if it were in a huge moat. Actually I was hiding in some cave waiting for the wraith when the thing jumped on me."

_**Ford describes the Bug to Beckett and Sheppard tells him his symptoms. Teyla figures out that the bug is somehow related to the Wraith.**_

_**In Atlantis Dr. Kavanaugh is concerned that if McKay starts nosing around in the controls there might be a catastrophic overload.**_

"That idiot..." Rodney's mumble was muffled by the TV.

_**The Athosians come to say a prayer to say goodbye to Teyla and the others but Weir won't allow it and is certain that they will save the team from imminent doom.**_

_**In the jumper Ford prepares everything they have, to see if something helps them to kill the bug. They start testing the items.**_

_**In Atlantis Kavanaugh yells at Elizabeth because she apparently cut his 'privates' off in front of his team. **_

"Good old Weir..."

_**Zelenka is testing something and suddenly starts babbling real fast in Czech. This usually means that he found something. Either that or he is mad. Luckily this time he had found something.**_

"I have always wanted to learn Czech. Interesting language."

"Really? Estonian has always been in my interest. I even went to a class once."

"What happened?"

"I started building a bomb for my science class. Took up most of my time and when I finished it I was grounded and stuff so I guess I kinda forgot..."

"What is Estonia? Another one of your earth countries?"

"Yeah. It's a very small country somewhere in Europe."

_**Peter sends Rodney the instructions on retreating the engine pods from the back of the jumper and Rodney gets to work. Ford is still testing various substances on the creature. None of them seem to work.**_

_**Rodney asks for a power bar and quickly eats it while Sheppard is struggling for his life.**_

All eyes in the room turned to Rodney.

"What? I'm no good when I get a hypoglycemic reaction. I need food." all three rolled their eyes in unison.

_**Teyla and Ford try with salt, but that won't help either. Next they pour water on the creature. That's when the fireworks start. The creature almost kills Sheppard. John pushes Ford away from him with such a force that they slide in further and the lower part of the compartment door is in the event horizon. Hence if the Stargate closes every molecule of air is going to rush out through there.**_

"Isn't it weird how a bad situation always seems to get worse when we are involved?"

"Well yes, but think about all the times when luck has gotten us out of bad situations."

"Good point."

_**Ford lets Weir know of their situation. Sheppard wants to say goodbye to everyone, but Weir is against that as well. **_

_**-Flashback-**_

_**The bug has just attached itself onto Major Sheppard when a wraith guard approaches. He takes one look at him and continues to look for the others as if he were dead already.**_

_**-End of flashback-**_

"What's with all the flashbacks? Why can't they just start from the beginning?"

"It's more interesting this way. Now shut up and watch. I want to know what happened afterwards."

_**Sheppard fetches an idea that they could hit him with a defibrillator to stop his heart and then later get his heart beating again.**_

Everyones mouths dropped open at the same time.

"I understand that they don't act everything out exactly like in our mission reports, but that is just nonsense! They are going to kill me and then make me alive again?"

"Wow. Well I guess it is a bit more interesting than some stupid operation."

"Oh come on. It was not that stupid. I still have a big scar from that."

_**Teyla cuts off majors' shirt while Ford is preparing the defibrillator. Rodney opens the door again and Teyla volunteers to carry Sheppard into the event horizon if they can't get his heart beating again later. Ford charges 200 and gives the Major a jolt. Johns heart stops beating and Teyla tries to get the bug off of his neck.**_

"Well major, it was a good idea."

"I still like the way we did it. You can't just kill a human and wake him up again. It's not normal."

_**The bug finally lets go and Ford shoots it several times. Apparently this time around no-one is worried about it's regenerating abilities. Ford jolts him again but can't get his heart beating so Teyla drags him through the event horizon. **_

"Of course. Why did I even think that their plan would work?"

"It's a TV show. It doesn't have to make sense."

_**McKay and every other scientist is working with only 2 minutes left. McKay manages to retreat the engine pod, but the jumper doesn't have enough momentum to go through. Kavanaugh tells them to blow up the rear hatch. They only have 1 minute left and since Ford feels like being a hero again he volunteers. He pushes Rodney through the gate and is alerted that he has only 30 seconds. To make things even more interesting the iratus bug starts moving again. **_

"Isn't that a bit too surreal?"

"We are in a different galaxy and we fought off technically more advanced life-sucking creatures. Surreal means nothing to me."

_**Ford blows up the rear hatch and the puddle jumper finally comes through. The medical team brings Sheppard back to the world of living and everybody is happy.**_

"Well that was interesting..." Sheppard was still sitting on the couch and staring at the black screen.

"Oh yeah. Well It's sci-fi. I guess that's how it's supposed to be... Night everyone!"

"Night!"

"Sweet dreams!"

"You coming, John?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure." Someone pulled the plug on the TV and closed the door. Our team had once again went to bed for the night, pondering about what they had just seen.

* * *

**My brains exploded several times while writing this. Please review and tell me what do you think. How bad is it? Well If you still want me to write the next episode it is going to be Suspicion. Thank you for reading, please review :)**


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